Week 6 churned through the MBL causing quite the ruckus amongst the managers. Injuries continued to haunt them right up until the start of the Sunday games forcing deep bench dives and last minute waiver pick ups like trick or treaters fighting over the last piece of candy. It was a rare week where everyone had a shot at the W, but only those worthy were blessed by the gridiron gods.
Sunday Funday (SF) vs. Deep Space Niners (DSN)
Slated to be one hell of a close game, the projections had only a 0.6 point spread between these two mediocre managers. Still reeling from the loss of the #1 draft pick, DSN mustered all available ships and patiently waited for this weeks foe to enter the nebula. SF came in hot with an opening salvo but all offense and no defense (not sure why the fuck you picked the Bears of all teams) along with a star wide receiver who simply put up minimal points, would be the league leader’s undoing. DSN’s tactics would pay off as he finds himself sitting in second place based on points when it was all said and done.
DSN (4-2) 135.21 – SF (4-2) 126.12
Saquan Deez Nuts (SDN) vs. Darwin’s Law (DL)
Want to talk about a slug fest? This was quite the sight to behold. Like two heavyweight boxers disregarding all defense and slugging it out, SDN and DL traded blows well into the Monday night game. SDN would outscore DL at 5 positions, while DL would only outscore his rival in 4 positions. Running backs would make the difference as both of DL’s stars would score 29 and 35 points compared to SDN’s 19 and 23. Easily capable of crushing everyone else in the league this week, one of these titans had to lose. When the smoke cleared, DL would stand the victor leaving the commish wallowing in shame and self-doubt. The post-game press conference would yield a sly comment from the league politician who stated “How am I in 7th place but have scored the most points in the league?! WTF!”. For those of us who know better, expect some fuckery afoot in the next few weeks after that comment.
DL (3-3) 147.49 – SDN (2-4) 141.55
Nino De Oro (NDO) vs. Drunken Avengers (DA)
There was absolutely nothing about this game that was pretty. With DA’s starting roster in dam near shambles, the team manager was forced to gamble hard on his bench and waiver wires. Taking some shit advice from the interwebs DA also went against his gut gambling on a QB and WR who had standout performances in Week 5 while on his bench. NDO would also see his lineup cursed as news broke Friday of his better RB being sidelined before the game even started. As kickoffs started around the league, both managers watched their projected points totals dry up faster than a woman hearing a guy refer to himself in the third person. With two players left after the Sunday scrimmage, NDO had a shot at the W with two players remaining, both of whom continually beat the projected points totals by almost double on a consistent basis. Thankfully for DA, the Buffalo Bills couldn’t circle the wagon on this night.
DA (4-2) 110.55 – NDO (2-4) 86.65
Princess M (PM) vs. MFFGA (fucking dumb)
As a reporter I have an ethical and moral obligation to remain neutral, but in this case, fuck that shit. It was slated to be a blowout that quickly became a nail biter with most league managers forgetting about their own games and watching this matchup with a worrisome eye. Points fell off the table like dominoes and these two managers could only bite their nails and dive into their vices in order to look away. When it was all said and done, PM must’ve paid off some referees….or her husband and took home the win with quite possible the closest victory this league has ever seen.
PM (4-2) 112.59 – MFFGA (4-2) 110.56
Lt. Dan (LD) vs. Thai Chili (TC)
Rolling off her meager win in Week 5 Thai Chili flaunted her shit like a peacock heading into Week 6. Confident in her recipe and up against an opponent yet to find their way to the Win column, everything looked good right? WRONG. finally TC found a sturdy D to ride but it would be for absolutely nothing as only three positions would score double digits points. Slowly but surely like a zombie with it’s legs cut off LD clawed her way out of bed, moaned her way down the stairs, and surprisingly enough to everyone, won the dam matchup. I know I still can’t believe it while I’m typing it but yea Yahoo Fantasy confirmed LD had indeed won the game and in a crushing fashion no less.
LD (1-5) 133.62 – TC (2-4) 106.82
Week 6 has come and gone and managers face a new threat as the bye weeks commence in the NFL. For example NDO’s almost entire starting lineup will be sitting on the bench this weekend which will make for an interesting waiver week heading into Thursday Night. If you’ve been paying attention you also noticed we now have a five way tie for first place with the only separating factor being points scored throughout the season. That’s right, SF, DSN, DA, PM and MFFGA stand tied with a 4-2 record in that order. Projections looks low across the league and we are in for one hell of a fight going into Week 7! Stay tuned for more to come as this season is far from over.