Yea, yea, yea I’ve been slacking I know it you know it…..maybe you didn’t in which case, welcome to the week 7 shit show. I’m going to keep this short and sweet since I frankly didn’t take notes and was driving back from Virginia in a doom cloud of a hangover.
Drunken Avengers vs. Darwins Law
A friendly wager of one beer to the winner was placed before this game and where early on it looked all within DL’s reach, it just wasn’t meant to be heading into the closing stages of the weekend. With 4 positions only able to post single digit points, it wouldn’t take much for DA to walk away with the W and see one of his highest single game points posted in a few weeks. Don’t worry, I’ve heard DA is a cheap date.
DA – 140.93, DL – 115.15
Saquan Deez Nuts vs. Sunday Funday
Yet again the commissioner struggles to literally find any way to score a win. In a drunken stupor later in the week following this game, SDN was quoted as saying “This is the week I really turn it around”. Yea, we’re going to need to see a little more out of you before we go on believing that statement. SF would clear her original projections quite easily thanks to some top tier performance from starting wide receivers helping boost her originally grim looking finish to a win that wasn’t pretty but will help keep her in the top three. (She may have been in first after this weekend I don’t remember).
SDN – 117.11, SF – 125.37
Lt. Dan vs. Nino De Oro
Unlike last year and M+M’s wedding NDO was finally able to hold down Lt. Dan for once and take home the W, although going off the score, she might have just laid down and taken it at this point. That’s it. That’s my review for this one.
LD – 88.18, NDO-98.63
Princess M vs. Thai Chili
Nobody is still really sure what’s going on with PM and why she’s winning. We can only assume the commissioner is getting some type of back rub every night based on the points she’s posting but that’s not our business until we make it our business. Anyway, TC finds herself back in loserville yet again despite throwing up a solid points finish.
PM- 144.98, TC – 125.96
Deep Space Niners vs. MFFGA (stupid)
Early in this season this reporter had the thought that both SF and MFFGA were exceeding their projections each week by obscene margins resulting in early wins out of nowhere. It might have taken 7 weeks and six injuries to do it, but MFFGA is finally failing to reach projections like the rest of us have all god dam season long. DSN posted a solid performance keeping himself within the top three for yet another week.
DSN – 127.79, MFFGA – 84.56
Of course all the way after I’m done writing this low effort recap, I realized Week 7 was a true terror for the league. You see the Fuckening may happen, but the Bye Weeks, the Bye Weeks will happen. It’s the inevitable, like the passage of time. Top players on a hot streak suddenly absent from lineups forcing managers to gamble on bench players who may rise to the occasion, or fall to the crushing pressure their fake bosses put on them. It’s a wild weekend to behold as almost all of our teams were impacted on Week 7, several managers with four or more starters on the bench. The waiver wire between weeks 6 and 7 almost burnt itself out as our teams scrambled to grab anyone they thought might have been of value. Some benefitted, some got utterly destroyed. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED YET?! I should have put this in the first paragraph but frankly I’m a bit lazy and have to recap Week 8 next so here ya go!