We don’t trade much in this league, frankly everyone finds their players and holds onto them like cherished family heirlooms. Most of the time it’s only when a player is dropped due to poor performance or some other deciding factor that another manager seemingly turns trash into treasure. Weeks and weeks of low scores suddenly become a forgotten memory as a player is scooped from the waiver wire to post a miraculous performance the following week. There is also the simple fact that when a trade is posted there is crippling anxiety as the league can turn around and slap it down if enough votes go against the potential trade. I’ll get into why this matters later, for now here’s the recap.
Drunken Avengers (DA) vs. Saquan Deez Nuts (SDN)
There really wasn’t anything pretty about this matchup. SDN was projected to score in the high 130’s while DA sat somewhere along the mid 120’s. By the end of the weekend however, both managers would be left crying in a corner as projections dwindled from the onset of games. Frankly looking at both benches for the week, there really wasn’t anything either manager could have done differently. Both teams would see the Tight End position post thiccc zeros followed by the domino effect of every other position underperforming. The nail in the coffin would manifest in SDN’s wide receiver leaving thirteen points unaccounted for by the end of the game.
DA (7-3) 102.5 – SDN (3-7) 94.11
Lt. Dan (LD) vs. Deep Space Niners (DSN)
It was another weekend, another points haul, and somehow another L for LD. This was a solid performance for the manager anchoring the rear, yet once again try as she might, she was outdone at the closing bell. DSN seemingly put his team on cruise control and slid past his opponent as his #1 draft pick lead the way in a triumphant return. I really want to beat up on LD but in a rare form, I’m going to let this weekend slide. What’s the quote from the greatest Trek captain to ever grace the bridge? “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life”. Well that about sums up LD.
DSN (7-3) 145.07 – LD (2-8) 120.11
Princess M (PM) vs. Sunday Funday (SF)
Both managers were projected to have a close battle scoring into the low 130’s at the start of the week, but as usual with our league someone would absolutely vomit mom’s spaghetti early and choke. This week, PM would find herself in front of the crowd, mic in hand, and no words to match the beat. SF on the other hand would spit lines like her mouth was on fire all weekend long, going past her allotted two minutes like a boss and crippling her opponent with vulgare rhymes I can’t repeat in this classy blog post.
SF (6-4) 147.77 – PM (6-4) 101.56
Thai Chili (TC) vs. Darwin’s Law (DL)
This matchup wasn’t projected to be close and good lord did the end result show that. DL would feel the sting in losing his #1 running back for the remainder of the season leaving him wanting like a girl who brings home a hot guy that sucks in bed. Was it a good performance? No. Was it a win? Yes. Thankfully enough players stepped up to cover the loss and kept the difference between original projection to end result a minimal loss of ten points. Where DL’s team rallied, TC’s team absolutely fell apart. We can only assume her latest recipe is one of disaster and diarrhea as TC left a whopping 30+ points unaccounted for at the end of the weekend. TC’s cup is running over, it’s not even half full as she finds herself sinking into the bottom of the league brackets.
DL (4-6) 113.71 – TC (3-7) 77.47
Nino De Oro (NDO) vs. MFFGA (twat)
If you look at this matchup at the end of the weekend you’ll see two seemingly matched foes going toe to toe. If you look at the score, it’ll look more like two people in last place fighting over staying out of last. The lone bright spot in this dreary matchup came in the form of MFFGA’s quarterback posting a solid 40 points and ultimately being the deciding factor of who was going to look less pathetic.
MFFGA (5-5) 99.26 – NDO (6-4) 94.26
Back to what I was saying earlier, we don’t trade much. Every year however it seems as if there was one trade that irrevocably alters the league dynamic. In 2019 DA acquired a wide receiver from TC, and then used that player to get their first win of the season….against TC. In 2020 there were several trades between TC and now disgraced manager T$ that pointed to sheer signs of cuddling collusion. This year, immediately after Week 10, we got it. SDN packaged together a trade deal that included a questionable Saquon Barkley who hadn’t returned from injury yet and a round 2 draft pick. What made the trade even more shocking, was offering that trade for LD’s Johnathan Taylor (her #1 pick and absolute most consistent player on her team) and a Round 9 draft pick. Managers were called to cast their votes, and will have a few days before this ridiculousness is approved or slapped back into the realm of nonsense from which it came. Tune in for Week11’s recap to see how this one plays out.